Always On My Mind
by Nette
Summary: It's Easter 2005 and an accident forces Abby to stay at home. But she has good friends visiting her. - Carby ; )


**Rating**: PG  
**Spoilers**: No spoilers. Includes some elements of the show up to the middle of S10, though. But Carter never met Kem when he was in Africa.  
**Summary**: It's Easter 2005 and an accident forces Abby to stay at home. But she has good friends visiting her. - Carby ; )  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything .. ; )  
**Feedback**: Sure, I'd love to know what you think! : )  
**Author's notes**: I completely forgot to post what I wrote for the April challenge on the "One Can Only Hope" board .. so here it is. ; )  
  
The challenge was:   
- 1000 to 2000 words  
- Either Carter or Abby singing.  
- Must include Easter eggs.  
- An accident occurs causing either Abby to look after Carter or vice versa.  
  
Thank you Jo for beta reading! ::hugs::  
  
**"Always On My Mind"**  
  
"I can't believe that we're having a sleepover," I say with a laugh while I unpack the food from the bags. "I can't even remember when I did that the last time," I add. And suddenly realization sets in. "God .. I'm old."   
  
She gives me an amused smile. "You're not old, Susan. And we're not having a sleepover. We're just two girls spending the evening in front of the TV, watching tons of chick flicks with a slice of pizza .."   
"Before we go to sleep, yeah. That's a sleepover, Abby," I cut her short.   
She rolls her eyes. "Okay, but don't say you're old .. I'm older," she chuckles, hitting my arm playfully with a bunch of carrots.   
  
That makes us both laugh before I remember that someone is missing.   
"Too bad that Sam couldn't come over."   
"Yeah. Those are the joys of motherhood I guess. She said Alex has a fever."   
"Let's just hope Brandon will be a perfectly healthy kid until he goes to college .."   
  
That makes her laugh. "He was perfect so far, wasn't he?"   
She's right. "Yeah, and I hope my other baby will be fine without me with him for the night .."   
  
That brings me a sympathetic smile. "You worry about leaving him alone with Chuck, huh?" she asks, her head cocked to the side, raising her eyebrows. I feel teased.   
"Well, it's the first time that I'm leaving my baby alone."   
"You're too cute," she tells me with a smile and lays her hand on my shoulder. "Everything will be fine."   
  
She's right – again. "Yeah."   
"And you'll forget your worries quickly once we started to watch the bunch of movies," she says with a wink and points to the couch. "We should start. It's already pretty late."   
I agree and hand Abby her crutches before she limps over to the sofa to sit down while I carry the vegetables, the dips and the ice cream.   
  
"I still can't believe that you broke your leg. Well, the amazing thing is _how_ you broke your leg," I say while I sit down next to her, putting the food on the table. "I mean, who breaks their leg while vacuum cleaning?"   
She rolls her eyes again. "I told you I didn't see the cable," she informs me again with a laugh, blushing slightly.   
  
"However," I decide to drop the subject as we had that already. "Fact is that we're stuck here at your apartment .."   
  
"Stuck?" she exclaims, with a fake hurt expression on her face. "I thought you'd like it."   
I stick my tongue out at her. "Can we choose a movie now?"   
"We can," she answers, mimicking my tone.   
  
I hand her the bag with the movies I brought with me.   
"Hmm," she begins, flicking through the bunch of DVDs. "Something tragic?" she asks, waving _Pearl Harbor_ in front of my face.   
"Nah, I think I want something funny," I say while she continues to go through the DVDs. "How about _Along Came Polly_? That's funny but still a bit romantic .. Abby?"   
  
I turn around to look at her when she doesn't say a thing. The expression on her face changed and she's holding one of the DVDs tightly in her hands.   
"Abby? What's wrong?" I ask her worriedly, putting one arm around her shoulder. She looks upset. And when I look at her hands I know why. I have no idea why on earth I brought _When a Man Loves a Woman_ with me.   
  
"Abby .."   
"No, it's fine," she finally answers, putting the movie away, looking up at me.   
"I'm sorry .."   
"Don't be. It's okay, really."   
  
I'm not exactly convinced. "I wanted to ask you anyway .. did you two ever talk things out? You seem better with him lately."   
She sighs deeply. "We're back to being friends again – best friends. And I'm glad to have him back as my friend. I missed him, you know? Even after all he did .. I still care for him .."   
"That's all?"   
  
She sighs again. "It's complicated, Susan."   
"What relationship isn't? You should talk to him .."   
"But ours is especially complicated. He explained everything, apologized. I did the same. It wasn't only his fault. And we forgave each other. It was the circumstances .. his grandmother's death – everything. But we can't go back to where we were .."   
"Why not?" I cut her short. "You still love him. And don't even try to deny that. The looks you share .. It's obvious to anyone but you two."   
  
She shakes her head. "We missed our chance, Susan. We screwed it up. Friendship is all I can give him."   
This time _I_ sigh. "But he loves you, too."   
She turns her head around to face me. I'd almost say I see hope in her eyes. "Did you talk to him? Did he say anything?"   
  
I'm not sure it's right to tell her what he told me. "Abby .."   
"It doesn't matter anyway. I just .. I can't. He broke my heart .. I don't want that to happen again. Friendship is the best for the both of us."   
  
I sigh again. "You should still talk to him .." I begin, but a knock at the door interrupts us before I can say anything. "I'll go."

* * *

"I hope I didn't disturb you two," I try to apologize when I sit down and see all the food on her table. "Susan left quite in a hurry."   
She shakes her head nervously. "Um .. no. We watched a movie and she was just about to go home anyway. Sit down," she adds, with a genuine smile on her face now.   
  
"How's your leg?" I ask her while I sit down and smile back at her. She has a beautiful smile. And even with the simple tank top and the pair of lose fitting sweat pants she's wearing she looks absolutely stunning. But I try not to think about this. I'm her friend and that's all. I came to terms with that.   
  
She seems to blush slightly – which makes me smile. "The leg is better. It just sucks to be pretty much stuck at the apartment. The good thing is that I have friends who visit me and take care of me," she tells me with a whink.   
My smile gets wider. "And look what I have for you. Since you couldn't come to the Easter party in the ER .. I thought I'd bring you something."   
  
Her face lights up and she looks at me in anticipation.   
"Easter eggs!" she squeals. "I didn't eat any for ages."   
Before I know it the first egg already disappeared in her mouth and I have to be careful not to stare at her every move in amazement.   
  
I wish I knew where this tension between us today comes from. Ususally I'm fine with her just being my friend – my best friend. I can't expect more after all I did. But sometimes I just can't take it to be so close but yet so far away from her. And today seems to be one of these days. It's just that this time there's something different about her, too. But I don't want to get up my hopes.   
  
"Now what?" she gets out while still chewing her egg, bringing me out of my thoughts.   
I laugh and shrug my shoulders. "TV?"

* * *

"I can't believe that I'm watching _American Idol_," he says and shakes his head slightly in amusement. "That must be the worst that airs on TV."   
That makes me smile. "It's fun."   
"None of these people can sing."   
"I think that's the point."   
  
We both laugh. "Even _I_ can sing better."   
I raise my eyebrow. "I doubt it."   
He cocks his head to the side and raises his eyebrow as well. "Did you ever hear me?"   
I shake my head and laugh. "Nooo, but I still don't think you can do it better," I challenge him.   
"Do you want to bet? I'll sing the next song that comes up."   
That makes me laugh even more. "Okay."   
  
He positions himself next to the TV and we both wait for the next canditate to come in.   
  
_"Hello. I'm Melanie and I'd like to sing 'Barbie Girl' by Aqua."   
"Go ahead, Melanie."_  
  
We both break out in a laugh. "Yeah. Go ahead, Melanie," I tease him with a huge grin on my face. I almost expect him to sit back down before he takes a deep breath and really begins to sing – in the highest voice I've ever heard him.   
  
"I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!   
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere.   
Imagination, life is your creation."   
  
He doesn't go any further as this is the point he cracks up laughing – and it does the same to me. He tumbles back to the couch and lets himself fall down in it – close next to me.   
"You won't win a prize with that, that's for sure," I tease him again. "I don't know when I laughed that much the last time."   
"Hey, I think I was good," he protests, faking a pout.   
I can't do anything else but laugh. "You know what really makes me wonder?"   
He shakes his head.   
"Where do you know the lyrics from?"   
  
He blushes slightly. "Everyone knows them .."   
"Sure," I agree, raising my eyebrow.   
"That was not fair. I want another chance."   
I just smile at him, our faces just inches apart when I turn my head towards his. "Next song is yours."   
  
He grins and we bring our attention back to the TV. The next canditate already began to sing – too late for Carter to join. And I don't think that what we hear is the best for him to sing right now anyway. For a change it's someone who can actually sing.   
We turn our faces towards each other again – the tension in the air tingling. I can feel his breath on my skin.   
  
_"Maybe I didn't hold you all those lonely, lonely times  
And I guess I never told you, I'm so happy that you're mine  
If I made you feel second best, I'm so sorry, I was blind  
You were always on my mind  
You were always on my mind  
Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died  
Give me one more chance to keep you satisfied  
Satisfied"_  
  
"Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died," he whispers while he moves towards me slowly until our lips touch in a light but sweet kiss.   
  
But he pulls back immediately. "I .. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. We shouldn't have done that .. _I_ shouldn't have done that," he stutters while he gets up quickly, grabs his jacket and heads straight for the door.   
  
I can't move. I'm still sitting there in the same position, staring after him.   
He kissed me. I didn't know how much I missed his lips on mine before I felt them there again. How much I missed his presence before I felt him so close again.   
  
I didn't feel like ending it. It was the opposite. I felt drawn to him even more than before. Though I should know better.   
But maybe for once I should let my heart speak instead of my head.   
  
I grab my crutches and try to follow him as quickly as I can.   
He's already half out of the door when I reach him breathlessly.   
  
"John."   
He turns around, waiting for me to speak.   
I swallow hard. "Please stay."   



End file.
